HARVARD Negotiators: How to Get What You Want Every Time [Getting to Yes]

Getting to Yes, developed by Harvard Negotiation Project founders Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton, is a principled negotiation method designed to help individuals achieve mutually beneficial outcomes without compromising their core interests.

Core Principles of Getting to Yes

Focus on Interests, Not Positions: Instead of sticking to fixed demands (positions), uncover the underlying needs, desires, and concerns (interests) of all parties. For example, in a library dispute over a window, one person wants fresh air (interest), the other wants to protect papers (interest)—a solution was found by opening a window elsewhere, satisfying both interests.
Use Objective Criteria: Resolve disagreements by appealing to fair, independent standards such as market value, legal precedent, or expert opinion. This shifts the conversation from “I want X” to “What does a fair standard say?” This reduces emotional resistance and increases legitimacy.
Invent Options for Mutual Gain: Brainstorm creatively to find solutions that satisfy both sides. In the classic orange example, one child wanted the flesh, the other the peel—splitting the orange 50/50 wasted value. By understanding interests, both could have gotten 100% of what they wanted.
Separate People from the Problem: Treat the other party as a partner, not an opponent. Be firm on the issue but soft on the person. Build rapport, listen actively, and avoid personal attacks to preserve relationships and enable cooperation.

Additional Strategies for Success

Develop Your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement): Know your walk-away option. The stronger your BATNA, the more power you have in negotiation. It helps you assess whether an offer is truly acceptable.
Handle Dirty Tactics with Awareness: If the other side uses pressure, deception, or emotional manipulation (e.g., good cop/bad cop), acknowledge the tactic calmly. Saying, “It seems like you’re using a strong stance,” can reduce its effectiveness without escalating conflict.
Use Negotiation Jujitsu: When attacked personally, don’t react defensively. Instead, ask, “Why do you feel that way?” or “If you were in my position, what would you suggest?” This shifts focus back to interests and solutions.

Why It Works

The method is effective because it moves beyond win-lose thinking. It’s not about dominance or compromise—it’s about creating value and finding solutions that are fair, sustainable, and respectful. As the authors emphasize: “If you’re wondering who’s winning, you’ve already lost.”

Key takeaway: Negotiation isn’t about forcing your way through—it’s about collaborating to discover what truly matters to everyone involved.

The Four Pillars of Principled Negotiation

Separate the People from the Problem
- Treat your counterpart as a partner in problem-solving, not an adversary.
- Address relationship issues (emotions, perceptions, and communication) separately from substantive business goals.
- Practice active listening and try to understand their viewpoint without necessarily agreeing with it.
Focus on Interests, Not Positions
- A position is a specific demand (e.g., “I want a 10% raise”). An interest is the underlying need or concern (e.g., financial security).
- Ask “Why?” or “Why not?” to uncover what truly motivates the other party.
- Look for shared interests—they are often more common than you think.
Invent Options for Mutual Gain
- Avoid the “fixed-pie” mentality. Aim to “expand the pie” before dividing it.
- Separate the invention of ideas from the evaluation of them. Brainstorm multiple solutions that satisfy both parties’ interests.
- Look for low-cost items to you that provide high benefit to them.
Insist on Using Objective Criteria
- Base the final agreement on fair, independent standards like market value, legal precedents, or expert opinions.
- This prevents one side from feeling they were bullied into a concession; both sides simply defer to a fair principle.

Essential Strategy: The BATNA

One of the most important concepts from the Harvard model is the BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement):

Your BATNA is your backup plan if the current negotiation fails.
Knowing your BATNA gives you the power to walk away from a bad deal.
The stronger your alternative, the more leverage you have.

Handling Difficult Negotiators

Negotiation Jujitsu: If the other side attacks your ideas or you personally, do not counterattack. Instead, deflect their attack toward the problem itself.
Taming Dirty Tricks: If they use tactics like “good cop/bad cop” or phony facts, explicitly identify the tactic and negotiate the “ground rules” of the negotiation process before continuing.

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